Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
