if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
