What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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