I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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