so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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