I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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