he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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