I just made out with a guy for $7.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
