he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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