We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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