i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
