have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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