no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
