we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
