I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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