I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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