"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
