Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
