i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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