My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
