I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
