ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How many fucks given?
0.12846
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
