Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
