Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
