So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
