What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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