Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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