sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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