we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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