guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
