Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
