grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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