how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
