Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
