So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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