Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
