having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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