the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
