He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
