Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize