Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
