So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
