She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize