Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
