I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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