I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
