i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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