We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
