yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
