i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
