Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
