Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
