if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
