That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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