Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
