The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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