I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i now understand why vodka
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we're so committed to being not committed
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
