Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
